I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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