We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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