she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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