It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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