i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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