I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
