I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
