Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
