i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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