Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and she was petting her beer can
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
