It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
