I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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