I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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