i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
