I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
