I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
