You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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