So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i dont even know how to be here
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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