Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
