i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
