You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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