Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize