Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
