We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
