That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize