You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
