Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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