he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've blown a few things in my day
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
