I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
