he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
3pm strippers are depressing
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
