hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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