She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
