that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
