lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
