then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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