ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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