nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize