woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
