so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
