That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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