Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
