6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
