I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
