I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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