Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
