can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
