It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
