You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
