My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
