Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
