Already got asked if we're dating
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
