my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Pooping to opera.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
