Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
