Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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