So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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