I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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