the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize