Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The air was thick with penises
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize